Travis Bridges

One sees healthy discussion and the other views it as arguing. He want’s to talk and she’d rather not.
So I’m having this talk with myself, trying to get a better understanding of this read and this is what I came up with.
When a person wants to express themselves to see change, they feel the need to share it with whoever is involved. If they are smart, they will be humble in their efforts into share, talk, discuss or compromise but an argument would clearly be unwise as an approach to getting what they want.
They both have concerns with hopes that each will consider each others thoughts and feelings to make adjustments for their relationship.
Not that either did or do anything “wrong”, -She describes it as “customizing preferences”. Example:
If she prefers talking while making love and he doesn’t, it’s not wrong that he doesn’t but if she prefers that, it’s up to him to find a way to address it because that would be them, “customizing their preferences” based on what they like or may be accustomed to.
If he has subconsciously decided, because it’s not “wrong” to not talk during sex, but she is still open to discussing it, it then it becomes a nuisance to him and because he’s not comfortable with it, he sees it as arguing instead of actually being open or sensitive to finding a solution for her/them.
Because it’s not “wrong”, then he’s not obligated to changing and she somehow has to just be okay with not getting what could be better fitting for her/them.
No matter how she presents it,- to discus or argue, it’s a guaranteed discomfort for two reasons.-
He’s not open to it because it’s not “wrong”, and refuses to discuss a solution because it’s a nuisance/argument to him.

She then has two choices.-
Be okay with it or be okay not finding true closure or satisfaction in that area for them.

*Talking is good. Communication is better but being open to discussion?, healthy and PRICELESS!